I was on a major high, Bunny was improving and we had just had one of our best rides, ever, on a Thursday afternoon, but the following Monday, my world came crashing down around me, when I got the phone call every horse owner dreads. Bunny was hurt, kicked by another horse in her pasture. I was told she had a cut on her hind left leg, she was acting a little lame, so the vet was on his way out. I was told they'd call me back after the vet left.
Monday was not one of my usual days to go out to the barn, so I didn't have a ride, so I frantically started calling everyone that I knew, that might be willing to give me a ride out to the barn, but everyone was either not home or too busy.
I had a meeting to go to that afternoon, where voting would be held for the officers for the group of disabled students. I had been acting President, because the previous year, I was elected Vice President and the President quit college. I had asked for help from the Secretary and Treasurer, who had different disabilities from my own, meaning they were not visually impaired. They did not help me at all. I had worked to try and get a therapuetic riding program started at the college, as we had the horses, the students on the Equestrian Team were willing to volunteer their time, and a fraternity had offered to build a ramp, but the faculty just didn't seem to want to do it or even try it, but I kept fighting for it. Well, at that meeting, I was not voted to any position at all, in the organization and I could hear whispers amongst the people of that other type of disability, as they all were of one type, about not voting for me for anything. They voted themselves in, so that all the officers of the group, now had the same type of disability, so there was no longer any diversity in the officers to make it seem like they really stood for all disabled students.
After the meeting, I pulled aside a friend of mine, who drove,, and told her what was going on with Bunny, and she said she'd come get me in about a half hour.
I rushed back to my room, unharnessed Zach, my Seeing Eye Dog, and got him taken care of, so I culd get out to the barn and not worry about him.
My friend arrived and we rushed out to the barn. I had not heard a word, from the farm all day, not since the call that morning, about the injury.
When I got there, I was told that the vet had to x-ray Bunny's hind left leg. I was told he was worried it was a significant leg injury, possibly a fracture of some kind. I rushed to the stall where they had put Bunny and she was still heavily sedated, her leg wrapped tightly. Her head hung low, as I entered the stall and I just wrapped my arms around her beautiful head and cried.
I just could not believe this was happening. My beautiful horse, who had been through, who knows exactly what, in her earlier life, before me, but obviously some kind of abuse, obvious neglect, and now she may be fighting for her life with a leg fracture.
I was told that the vet would call me the next day with the results of the x-ray.
I stayed with Bunny for a long time, just hugging her, trying to comfort her and myself, at the same time. Praying to God that she would be alright. I started praying that she would just live, even if I couldn't ride her again, I just wanted her to live, because I loved her and I just didn't think it was fair that she'd finally found love and to have her life end so shortly after it. It was September and we'd only been together since the middle of May.
My friend had to get to her evening job as a reader for a blind friend, so I had to tear myself away from Bunny and I promised that I'd get back out to see her as soon as I could, hugging her and kissing her multiple times, before I left the stall.
I got back to my dorm room and hugged Zach, who was happily waiting for my return. I made myself dinner and as I was about to sit down to eat, there was a knock at my door. It was one of the those other disabled students coming to talk to me. She had been designated the one to come inform me why they had decided to get rid of me, in such a cruel manner.
I was apparently not doing enoughf or them, they thought I wanted all the glory over the therapuetic riding program, and so on. They hated that I used the word "I" when referring to things that I, alone, had done, without their support, they wanted credit, too. They had wanted to sit in on meetings with the faculty for the therapuetic riding program, but had not, because someone else had told them not to, not me, but I was the one they blamed. They decided that they also thought that all the blind and visually impaired students were getting special treatment because the Director of Disabled Students was blind, himself, but this was the furthest from the truth. Anything time they wanted a ramp put in, a curb cutout put in, anything, it was granted, we aske for the room numbers to be lowered to eye or shoulder level, with braille put on them, and no, that couldn't be done. Nothing was done to help make things better on campus for the blind students, except for readers, given longer times on tests, and so on, but any additions to buildings, like numbers or names, being put in braille or at eye level, for us to read more easily, on our own, without always having to ask, was too much trouble.
These other diabled students blamed me for a lot more and the blind population for a lot more, and I knew, from previous experience with one of them, that some of them were jealous that we could walk across campus on our own, with the help of a cane or guide dog, but they could get driver's licenses, so it made no sense to me, why they'd be jealous, but one of them had come straight out and said to me, "Well, you can get up and walk across campus anytime you want." I pointed out to this individual, that she had a van parked in the parking lot, that she rarely drove. Oh, well, I thought, if they were going to dislike or even hate a whole population of a different type of disability, it was their loss.
I called another blind friend of mine and he was so mad about my treatment that he was ready to start a revolt of some sort, but mostly I needed his comfort to talk about Bunny, since my roommate wasn't back yet, for me to talk to, and I had to talk to someone about all that was going on with Bunny and the organization, it was so much to take in, all in one day.
I do not know why different disability groups pit themselves against each other, it baffles me. I think so much more could get done if the different disabilities would work better together, even at the college level, like I'm sharing in this story, that really happened.
That night, as I cried myself to sleep, I prayed again, just asking for Bunny to be alright and to live, even if I couldn't ride her again.
I waited all Tuesday to hear something, but I didn't. I called the vet office, but I was told he was not available and that he was trying to consult with another vet, about Bunny's case, before he talked to me, which did worry me and frustrate me a bit.
Finally, on Weds. morning, I got a call from the vet and was told that Bunny's hind left leg was indeed fractured, the outer splint bone was broken, a clean break, and there was a hairline fracture to the cannon bone. I was told she would probably live, but she would need to stay in the stall for 6 months. Another option was to put a plate and screws in, but being a college student, I could not afford that, so he said we'd just do stall rest and see how she healed on her own.
I bought her a calcium supplement and I began part time work out at the barn, because I could not afford stall board on my limited income. I worked off some of her board, by filling water buckets for over 50 horses, sweeping and raking the large barn aisle, helping clean tack, clean out the grooming and wash stall area, and any other odd jobs that I could do around the barn.
I bought her a blanket, as winter approached, because it was apparent she was not going to develop much of a winter coat, in her current situation and the area of the barn, she was put in, was more open air and if there was a cold wind, there was not as much wall protecting her from it.
I hung a sign on her door, that the blanket was only to be put on and left on at night, if the temperature got below freezing, but I'd come out on days where it was in the 60's and find her still blanketed, sweating. I would just cry. I longed to be able to take care of her myself. SHe developed thrush, while I was home on Christmas break, because no one bothered to clean out her hooves for me and her stall didn't get cleaned properly, because some of the pople who cleaned the stalls only thought of her as a "crazy Arabian". True, it was a barn of 99% Quarter Horses, so some people showed their breed bias.
There are some people in the horse industry that for one reason or another will decide they don't like a particular breed and there is nothing you can do or a horse of that hated breed can do, to change their minds. I may have my favorite breeds, but I still like all horses and try hard not to trash a whole breed, just based on limited expossure to that breed, because you never know that horse's true background and if it is breed related issues or it's background due to poor handling, training, or even abuse.
Finally, I just could not afford to keep Bunny there any longer, so I started looking for another place to board her, in late January of 1997. Happily, a friend of mine was working for a small boarding farm that wasn't too much further down the road from where Bunny was currently boarded and she promised to take excellent care of Bunny and help me in her rehab.
So, I moved her in Febuary. At the six month mark, we started limited turn out, as the bet had said to do, but it was obvious that Bunny was still quite lame, so I had the vet come back out and x-ray her leg, again. The news was not good, though the cannon bone had healed, the splint bone had not healed at all.
I was again, left feeling devistated, what was I going to do. The vet said if it hadn't healed in 6 months, it was not going to heal, leaving her lame and probably in pain. So, we discussed the options, I still could not afford the surgery to put a plate and screws in her leg, to stablize the bone, so the only other option was to remove the lower portion of the splint bone, from the break downward. The vet could not tell me if she'd be sound or not, after this procedure, but she would at least be out of pain. He offered to do it for less than he usually would do that kind of procedure, realizing the situation I was in and not wanting to have a horse be in pain.
So, Bunny ws taken to the vet clinic for the surgery, where the lower three quarters of the outer splint bone on her hind left leg was removed. She stayed there a week, before my friend and I went to go pick her up and take her back to the farm.
It took us 45 minutes to get her on the trailer. We believed that having to ride in a trailer, twice, with her leg hurting, had made her afraid to get into the trailer. We finally got her on and I knew I'd have to work with her more, once she completely healed.
After a month rest in the stall, she started limited turn out, again, and I anxiously watched her on her first day out in the roundpen. My friend, Mary, and I stood there waiting to see what she would do and it didn't take her long, before she started to trot around the perimeter of the circular roundpen. We turned to each other and I don't remember who spoke first, but both of us were amazed at what we were seeing, Bunny was sound!
A few weeks alter the vet came out to check on Bunny and I had him follow us into the roundpen, Mary closing the gate as we passed through. I turned Bunny loose and with my limited eyesight I just watched the vet's face, because I knew Bunny was sound, I wanted to see his reaction. I sear, even with bad eyesight, I saw his jaw about hit the ground. He turned tome and said, "Not only is she sound, but she has one of the best trots of any horse I have ever seen!" He couldn't believe it. He had not expected her to go 100% sound or sound that quickly.
He said I could start trying to ride her in a month or two, when she got stronger, and just make sure I paid attention to her soundness, which of course I promised I would.
But when Bunny was ready for me to start working with her again, it was like we had gone back to day one or actually even worse. Her freezing episodes were more frequent, almost every single time I got on her back, I never got to go but about 10 to 20 feet, she just was terrified. As I'd done before, i'd lean forward and hug her neck and just talk to her.
Through prayer and just being with Bunny, I made the decision, that I was right in my prayers, when she first got hurt, I did not care if I rode her ever again, I just wante dher to live. Yes, it was a bit upsetting that I couldn't ride a physically sound horse, but I could not put her through the terror anymore. Something about being ridden terrified her and I could feel and sense the pain, the emotional and mental pain, she was feeling, and I just could not do that to an animal that I loved so much.
Bunny and I had been through so much in that first year of our relationship and she taught me that it was not riding that I loved, but it was her, the horse itself, and riding was a perk, a plus, a benefit, and a privilege of horses and I learned that if you truly loved a horse, you would not put them through that kind of mental pain, just for the perk of riding it. I didn't think it was fair to put her through that, so I decided that my beautiful Bunny would become a broodmare and most of all, Bunny would be my beloved friend, I'd never part with her, because I would not risk someone else trying to ride her. It is what love does, it grows and learns to accept and to sacrifice. No, I never felt that awesome canter of hers ever again, but I knew that if I was patient and found the right stallion to breed her to, she would pass it along to her babies and one day I would feel it again, just on her children, not on her.
My love for Bunny was so strong that I just knew I would not pain her any more with trying to ride her and I told her it was okay, that she did not have to worry anymore. I knew she'd had a few foals before I got her, so I told her she would get to have more babies and I swear I sensed happiness from her, that this was what Bunny wanted and she would pay me back for my love and understanding, in time she did, when Belle was born in 2003, she gave me my dream horse.
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