A Full Circle

When I was 7 years old I went to Camp Holiday Trails, for the first time.   It was a camp for disabled and sick children.   The issues ranged from other kids being blind, like myself, to children with Cystic Fibrosis, Diabetes, various forms of cancer, etc.

I had recently seen a show on TV called "Adventures of Black Beauty", loosely based on the novel, "Black Beauty".   I had fallen in love with horses from the first time I saw him running across a green field on the television screen, at my Grandparents house.   To this very day, I can still picture it in my mind.

When I arrived at camp, I was delighted to discover that they offered horseback riding to the campers.   i couldn't wait for my very first ride on a horse, which didn't come for a few days.   When it finally was my turn to go down to the stables, I walked down the row of stalls and petted each horse and stopped when I arrived at the stall of a beautiful black horse with a small white star.   I couldn't believe it, I was looking at horse that was the spitting image of "Black Beauty".

A few minutes later the riding instructor gave out horse assignments and I was overwhelmed to find out that I was about to ride Smokey, the black Quarter Horse gelding, that I was staring at.   he was only a 2 year old, but was quiet enough to be used by this program.

His owner tacked him up, as he was privately owned, and not owned by the camp, like the rest of the horses.  She told me a little about him and before I knew it I was following them to the small riding ring and after I got a helmet, I was put onto his back.

The riding ring had a blue stone type footing around the outside, making a nice sized oval, and to the inside of that was a grassy area with one tree, to provide shade to those kids who were waiting their turn to ride.

I rode Smokey for at least 10 minutes, when he suddenly stopped and stretched out his hind legs.   The riding instructor called for me to be taken off of him, as they didn't want me on him, if he needed to use the bathroom, since it was my first time on a horse and he was still young.

Just to be safe, he was taken back to the barn and untacked and that was the end of my first ride.

The next week, I went back down to the riding stable and this time I was assigned Sir Edwards, a little grey Welsh Pony, who was the spitting image of Merrylegs, from the "Black Beauty" novel.

It was really hot, so all the horses and ponies were tacked up and we were all put on one and with each of us having at least one leader, holding the horse or pony, we went for a trail ride down the country road, that led up the mountain to the camp, where the cabins were, so there was hardly any traffic, in fact, I think only one truck went by the whole time we rode.

I loved that little pony, he was so awesome!  He was at least 28 years old, I think, at that time.

I returned to Camp Holiday trails for the next two years and each year I got to ride Sir Edwards, but Smokey had left the program.   I rode several others, along with Sir Edwards, but I always got at least one ride on him.

After I was 9, I stopped going to camp, not sure why that happened, but I missed it.

When I was 18, I was offered the opportunity to return to Camp Holiday Trails for the week long camp for blind children, as a teen worker.  I arrived on Saturday afternoon, with the other camp counsellors and teen workers, which there were about 10 to 12 of us.   The teen workers were to stay in the infirmary complex on cots.

As we drove onto the country road that led to the camp, I was delighted to see horses still in the pasture and hoped they still offered riding.   I knew I would not be riding, as I was a worker, but I was hoping to get to help with the horses, at least a little bit.

I was given permission to go down to the stables on Monday morning, with the campers and see if they could use my help.   I was again, delighted to see the riding instructor, who had been there when I was a child, was still there and she actually remember me.  

Because of my horse experience, she gratefully accepted my help and I was assigned a little Shetland Pony named Princess, to groom, tack up, and help children with, when they rode her.

She was a cute little pony, a bay and white pinto, about 12 hands, at most, and reportedly 33 years old.  

I asked about Sir Edwards, and was told that he lived to be 36 years old and had died only a few years before.

After I tacked up Princess, I led her to the very same riding ring and waited in line for the instructor to get the kids mounted, one at a time.  There were a lot of children, so two kids would take turns on each horse or pony.

The first kid I was given to help with Princess, was not only blind, but only had one arm.  I think he could see a little bit.   He was so excited to ride Princess and truly enjoyed his time on her.

After his time was up, he was helped off and I went to get the next child.   As I approached, with Princess, I could hear that the little boy was upset and afraid.   They were trying to get him on another pony, but he totally refused, so I was called over, as Princess was the smallest in the group and they thought he might be less afraif of her.

I stopped Princess in the shade of the tree and listened for a few minutes, as they continued to try to coax this little boy, who was totally blind, to even come close enough to touch Princess, but he refused.   I asked someone else to hold Princess for me and I walked over to him.   I introduced myself and then told him that I was blind, too, only with some vision, but not very much.   I told him that I loved horses and that Princess was very gentle and would not hurt him.

I am not sure what it was, exactly, that I told him, that made him trust me, but before i knew it, I had his hand and we were walking towards Princess.   I introduced him to her, at her head, then we trailed her neck, back, and to her tail, so he could get an idea of how big she was and what she felt like.

After a few minutes of getting to feel Princess, he decided it was okay to get on her, but insisted that I be there with him.   I told him that I would lead Princess for him and all he had to do was enjoy the ride.

As we headed out to the rail, after his stirruprs were adjusted, I glanced over my shoulder and noticed he was hunched over and his head was down.  I knew it was from nerves.   I started to talk to him some more about Princess and he talked back with me, but he stayed hunched.   Then I had an idea.   I moved to a place where I could stop Princess, safely, and not be in the way of others.   I held onto the reins and then stood next to him.   I told him, "I want you to not focus on being nervous, but start to feel her moving under you.  See if you can tell when she is moving each of her legs."   I explained to him that at a walk, a horse moves each foot at a different time, to make a 4 beat rythm.   He agreed to try and so I started to walk Princess, again.   I kept talking to him and asking him to feel for her legs to move and then I realized his voice sounded different.   I again, glanced over my shoulder and was amazed to see him sitting straight up in the saddle, his face turned upwards, and even with my limited eyesight, I could see the biggest smile on that little boys face. 

It felt so wonderful to help him.  A joy filled me.   As we continued to walk around the ring his confidence built.   There was a pole on the ground and I asked him if he would like me to lead Princess over it, to see if he could tell when she was going over it.  He agreed to this and knew exactly when her leg moved differently to raise up higher, to step over the pole.   he was so excited, I could tell it in his voice, that he was truly enjoying his first experience on a pony.

I was amazed at how things had come full circle.  I had been given my first horse experience at this camp, in that very ring, and now here I was helping a little blind boy have his and overcome his fears, to experience something totally new and different.

The limitations put on blind children, by some, cause them to be nervous about trying new things, but some of us are lucky and are not told, "You can't do that."  or "You shouldn't do that." with the only reason being our blindness.   Yes, I've heard these things, but not from those who matter and had influence on me and my development as a strong person.  Some call me brave, courageous, and other descriptive words, because of what I have done in my life, despite my disability, but I just see it as I am doing what comes naturally to me.   God gave me a gift with horses and I am using it and God allowed me to help a blind child and to experience the joy that came with it.